Run Wild My Child

Lets start with this beautiful little drink. I went #basicwhitegirl for a moment and had to try this almond milk drink that tastes like pink starburst. It is called the #pinkdrink. 

It was awesome! 

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Now for the awesomeness that is us. 

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I have decided to update a lot of our kitchen appliances. We have had used pans since before the moment we got married. So four years of wear and tear plus how ever many more before us. They have been good to us, but the non stick is starting to look pretty rugged. So we are buying little things a little at a time to replace the old. Tony and I are both very sentimental people about the weirdest things. 

:P

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I have been researching low carb recipes. And just general healthiness.

Last night we had a Spaghetti Squash Carbonara. 

It.

Was.

Amazing.

OMGosh.

So. Good. 

This morning I had such a great little breakfast! 

And it's so healthy! 

So yummy!

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I take a lot of pictures for Hadley's "Monthly Pictures". 

And sometimes I forget until she is cranky. 

Thank goodness she is such an easy baby to make smile.

But sometimes. 

Sometimes. 

I capture the very very rare unhappy face.

And somehow she is still so darn cute!!!

I mean look at her! 

(And yes, that is Batman, and yes, I am a nerd.)

Happy! 

Not so happy! 

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Sometimes I'm weird. :P 

But Tony loves me, so that's all that really matters. 

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Our baby girl is now doing things that I both approve and disprove of. 

Sitting up.

And not being in the carseat in the carts at stores.

What.

The.

Heck.

No.

Stop growing!! 

):

But, keep growing. 

(:

I'm so conflicted!! 

As you can see...

Take a look!!  

I was told she looked like a little barbie doll.
Yeah, she's beautiful.

She no longer needs me! ));

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So for my birthday. 

We went to sea world.

I asked for this because, well, it's free!

And fun! 

Yay! 

And Hadley loved everything about it!! 

Especially all of the people to give her attention.

My goodness! 

Nope. Not the fishies. 

My little girl is going to be a social butterfly! 

(:

How awesome is this!

He is so tall. She is so chaotic. So fun. 

We are seriously the cutest! 

#SeaWorld

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Can our daughter get any cuter?!

I think she can! 

She loves baths and showers. With mommy. Not alone.
:P

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Happy birthday to my Great Grandmother.

June 8th.

R.I.P

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Omgosh! I was just told we don't have to go to court anymore. And that is seriously just the icing on my June cake!!
Tony and I were wondering when something was going to go wrong.
Our lives are too good right now.
It makes me so happy.
But scared!
:P
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I do believe I am done.

I'm sure I could go on and on.

But I won't.

For Tony, who I know reads my blog;

Thank You so very much for my birthday.

You are such an amazing husband and father and son.

You are my one true love and I couldn't be prouder of you! 

<3

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Six Months Of hadley

It has taken 6 months for me to get this right. Plus the damn dogs ate her raccoon. ):

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A little of this, a little of that

She is a doll. I honestly don't know of a child so well behaved. She only screams loudly like a Banshee when she needs attention. Which we giggle at and then give her of course. She stays awake for longer periods of time now. Just curiously adventuring around the living room. Finding, exploring, and chewing on anything in sight. 

She is now sipping on water. She used to not like to even try drinking from ANYTHING other than me. So that is progress. Her favorite food is Puffs. Banana flavored. 

Then again, we haven't introduced any other flavor. 

Eating banana baby food!

We have been introducing new things, and watching her learn and get frustrated at failing and we make sure to make her smile afterwards. She likes that. Us smiling down at her. 

Pretty much every picture of this little girl is of her smiling. I can't wait to see her face when she later look at all of these photos when she is older. 

Always trying, this little one. She doesn't give up. She has also learned to roll to us when we ask her to come to us. It's so much fun. Being parents. Nothing like I expected. Yeah, I am tired ALL the time. But, it's still so much fun. I can't even believe she is almost six months old already...

I made this little baddie, on memorial day.

We got all fancied up for a dinner a while back. 

Our four year anniversary is this year. July 19. 

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Monday Musings

At night, I sometimes wake up for the next feeding and then realize I don't even remember putting her  back down. I never knew I could be so tired that I wake up FREAKING out because I'm worried I didn't put her back into her bed because the last thing I remember is me nursing her. Being a mom is hard.

 We spent two weeks with Tony's parents. And I watched his mother spend day in and day out taking care of her children. I could see the love coming from her. I could see the courage and kindness seeping out from underneath her shielding wings that God obviously gave this woman. But I could also see the tiredness, the sad smiles, and the patience running thin. Yet, I never saw her falter. She smiled and picked up their clothes, (and ours) and she washed, and she folded, and she drank her coffee, and she gave her children attention and she cooked and she was like wonder woman. And I realized that, she was who I wanted to be. She was the woman I wanted to see myself as. I probably won't have as many children though. My patience is already super thin. :P You're an angel, Mama Tracy.

 I went and visited my best friend. Who is about to be a mother! Meg my bestie. I can't wait either. I missed her. And I missed Ethan. And I missed having a couple who is our age and has the same interests. And laughs and makes us so happy. And I probably annoy the crap out of them. But I don't come by people that DON'T disappoint me very often. So Ill keep annoying and bugging them cause I can. :P I love you guys very much and miss you more than you know. 

Then I did something that surprised myself... I also saw my dad. And my little brother. Aiden, who is in second grade already. It's funny. Forgiveness has been my downfall these past two years. All my life, Ive forgiven people too easily. I've handed out second chances like a billionaire hands out dollar bills. (Well, I doubt that, but you get the point.) The point is, I let people walk all over me. I took crap from so many family members. From "friends." I took crap from pretty much anyone who walked into my life. I let people push me around. I didn't realize it at the time. But one by one I started realizing that so many people disappointed me. One way or another. I was mad at my mom, for not protecting me better from my dad. I was mad at my dad for what he did. I was mad at my sister for getting all of my mom's attention. I was mad at my family for not realizing things that happened right under their noses. But then, I graduated. And I realized, that only I could save myself. So I did what I needed to do. I went to school, I worked grave yard shift at MCDONALDS and when my dad was an absolute idiot and wrecked his bike after drinking and taking pills, I went to school, I worked every night, and I visited the abusive father every day. Of course then I started getting sick. I started getting tired. So I didn't visit my comatose father. Naturally my family gave me crap for it. But really, who in their right mind would want to visit a man who called them absurd names and even kicked them in the face while the nurse sewed his ear back shut. But I forgave him. I forgave the man who for so long treated me like dirt. And then one day, Tony made me realize, you can forgive someone without them being in your life. And so I cut off all ties after a particularly awful encounter with my dad after his accident. But after having Hadley, I guess I felt bad. I asked myself if I had REALLY forgiven my dad or was I just saying that I did. I thought about it long. And hard. And I realized that if my dad had died. I wouldn't forgive myself if he didn't at least meet my daughter. So I let him see her. And I haven't thought about it since. I am still not sure how I feel about it. I just know I did the right thing. And that's what matters. So forgiveness is still a hard thing for me. Whether I'm giving it away too much, or not enough. I do what I can. But I am proud of myself. 

My little brother

 Other than all that madness and nonsense, my mind is kind of crazy. I don't think I will ever be normal again. I need to lose weight. I got on the scale yesterday and even though Tony doesn't know, I cried when I got into bed. But it sparked something inside of me too. So I got up this morning and I did my fasted cardio. And I'll go to the gym again today. I'm tired of being fat. And I'm tired of being insecure. When you got a sexy husband like mine, you get kinda crazy. I used to be so confident, and carefree, and now I'm just, not. So gym and healthy eating is what I'm gonna be about! 

 Hadley is growing. She gained almost two pounds while in AR. She is seriously my absolute angel. Every inch she grows, every pound she gains. Every smile, and coo, and baby talk, and roll, and cry and every time I watch her I love her more. I couldn't ask for a more perfect child.

She's learned to suck on her thumb. 

 Tony and I are doing great. I know every couple have their own downfalls, and every couple have their ups. Every time he smiles at me, and when he holds my hand. He really doesn't know JUST how much I love him. Sometimes I doubt he even gets it. Everyone I've ever known has let me down. In one way or another. Multiple times. He has only ever let me down one time. And that's pretty amazing, that I can count ONE time that in our 5 years of being together he has only let me down ONCE. Not a lot of people can say that about their spouse. And I can honestly say people aren't their mistakes. And in his case he is the most wonderful man I've ever known. The way he is with Hadley. It erases the one mistake. Plus I know I've made many more than one mistakes, and he's always forgiven me and stood by me. So, we may have our downs, but nothing beats our ups. Nothing comes close to how i feel when I'm with my best friend. My forever boyfriend. I love you, darlin. 

 And now just a bunch of random photos!! :D 

Family Photo! 

MY bestie got sick!

I got a photo from my grandma, with my great grandpa! I miss him a ton. 

Because Razorbacks. 

I don't think this needs much more explaining'

Not only did we play a ton of cards, I ended up with Tony's MOS

This is NOT my motorcycle. But I may be on my own one soon. 

I fell in love with this, instantly. 

Look at this little badass. And yes, badass is the PERFECT word. 

The babes took care of momma when I was super sick. Can't ask for a better family. 

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