Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Hadley's Birth Story

     I've been going over and over in my head all of the little details from Tuesday, December 8 2015, 5pm until Thursday, December 10, 4:08am. I am sure that I don't get all of the details right. Who really can when your in pain for that long, am I right? But I am going to try and get as many of the details as right as possible.
     So as I sit here with my cup of coffee, my little angel is in her bassinet sleeping away. So I better get on this as I only have about an hour before she wakes up, hungry, again.

     Tuesday, the 8th, (one week after my due date) around 5:30 I got the call from the hospital asking if I still wanted to come in and be induced. I excitedly said yes, of course, and the nurse told me to be there at 7:30pm. I got off the phone and told the moms (both mine and T's) and T that we were a go! Of course everyone got into an excited buzz and started running everywhere, all the while trying to eat our tomato soup and grilled cheese. We got our bags ready, then realized we may not even have room in the car. We did. We loaded everything up, and left! Once we got there we took a photo next to the car, T said he had seen a picture of his mom next to the car on her way to the hospital and he loved to just stare at it. I liked the idea. Very sweet. So here is ours!


     
     I know I have a better one that is actually from the hospital but it isn't on the computer at this time. So, anyway, we went inside and they brought me into a room. The doctor came in and inserted Cervidil up into my cervix around 9pm. The pill was supposed to help ripen the cervix and maybe help me dilate. I was still only 1cm dilated and about 30% effaced at that point. The doc said that in 4-6 hours he would be back to check my progression. To try and get some sleep. So everyone in the room settled in, we, err, I, watched, Brave and then we all decided we should probably try and get some sleep. Which was not an easy task. I was having mild contractions that were very close together. T's mother, who was seriously the best birth coach, rubbed my feet and made me feel so relaxed, pretty much all night, how awesome is she?
     Any who, the doc came back somewhere between 4-6 hours, I forget. Checked me and I was 50% effaced but still only 1cm dilated and still very high. He said he wanted to give it a few more hours since I was having contractions and then we would insert more of the cervidil. I can't remember how much time passed but I know that early in the morning, I want to say around 6am the doctor came back and asked if we wanted to go ahead with the Foley Bulb, which is a long catheter with a balloon attached to the end that they fill up with water. The foley bulb is supposed to help the cervix dilate to a 3-4 so they can start the Pitocin. Of course I said YES, do it! So they inserted the bulb and boy did the mild contractions pick up a little bit. Cramping was my new favorite word. Not... Every 30 minutes the nurse was supposed to come in and tug at the balloon and tape it down to force open the cervix. My gosh it was a lot of pressure and cramping down in the baby birthing area!! I tried to bounce on my ball but that was hard when the immense pressure coming from the bulb was just downright uncomfortable. I want to say the nurse, who was different from my first nurse, whose name was Mel, only came in to tug on it twice when it fell out on it's own. My gosh that was a nice relief! The contractions went back to normal. (Also the day nurse's name was Kate and she was AMAZING)
   I was dilated to a 3, yay! There was a CHANCE that I could go back down. But we weren't going to have any of that. :P So they started the pitocin a little bit after that. My contractions started to get more and more regular, and started to get slightly more painful. I started bouncing on the ball. I kept trying to find ways to make the pain GO. AWAY.  I would not have been breathing and doing what I needed without T's mom. This is when I start to forget things. I know I was trying to watch movies. Keep my mind off of the contractions. At this point, I got a rest in between contractions which helped so much. It was definitely not what I was expecting. I mean, I know when I needed T's hand and when the pain would go away it was like NOTHING was happening. Kate came in every so often to up my dose of pitocin.

   So at this point I would like to stop and just shout out to my wonderful husband. He was so calm and patient and perfect. Just having him there was an absolute comfort to me. Looking at him, and him making me laugh was perfect. Sometimes he was the only one I wanted next to me. And he took in everything like a pro! I could tell sometimes me being in pain was hard for him but he just shook it off and kept telling me how proud he was of me. Which helped tremendously. So thanks babe!!





     So later that evening I was dilated enough for them to break my waters. Yes, waters. We had that discussion with our nurse. Amidst all of the craziness. Weird, weird, weird! It was like peeing myself except I knew I wasn't peeing. (Btw, it is very annoying having to get up to pee with all of those wires hooked up. Plus your behind is shown to the entire world, sorry Moms!!) But, on to the next phase. The water breaking. OH. MY. GOSH. It was like my body was MADDDDDDDD at me for doing that. I mean, not really. But my gosh the contractions just got ridiculous!! This is when I know I start to forget the time frame and what exactly happens. So I hope the rest of this is right. I think I may summarize. 
     Let's see, my down there parts were on fire, I couldn't breath right. I wanted to cry. Oh, wait, I totally did. Then I would calm down. I know I asked for the epidural, because I was done. I had been taking these contractions since the night before and I was DONE. I just remember being done!! I may have gotten upset because I requested the epidural and no one took me seriously because I hadn't said our magic word. Which btw, GREAT idea. If I REALLY needed the help, I would have to say the dumb word, that my awesome husband came up with. But we opted out for the medicine stuff that basically makes you high. I have no idea what it was called. I have no idea what I said during the time that the medicine was administered. I just remember being able to sleep during the 45 second breaks. Apparently I got upset at T for trying to talk to me during one of my little sleep breaks. Then the medicine wore off and the contractions were unbearable. I would get such a short short break in-between and no one could tell me how much longer I would have to take this pain. So I remember saying Bananahammock over and over. And yes, that was our code word. The anesthesiologist was in the room, what I think was like 5 minutes after I asked. He was awesome. I went numb, the pain was gone and I remember just thanking God that the horrid pain was gone. A little bit after that my doctor came in, a new one, she checked my cervix and proceeded to tell me I was only dilated to a 4, when earlier that day by two different people told me I was a 6. She then, tried to tell me that she didn't think I would be delivering a baby on her shift, which ended at 7:30 am on Thursday morning. I do believe she told me this either late Wednesday night or maybe it was already Thursday, midnight or so. She said when she came back to check on me we would discuss a C-section. Also, Hadley's heartbeat was getting low when I would have a contraction and so I was put on oxygen, and they started monitoring her a lot more closely. Of course as soon as she left I felt defeated... They started taking me off the pitocin slowly, a little at a time for Hadley's safety. I tried to sleep. I drifted off when I started cramping...and feeling like I needed to poo. I thought to myself, I don't think I am supposed to feel this. So I just waited, I didn't push the epi button to give me more, I just waited when  finally, I needed to poo! I was literally holding my bottom and telling T that I was about to poop! So T got Mel, my nurse and she came in and checked me, and then asked me if I was ready to push. I got excited and said YES!!! Of course!! It took FORVER for the doctors to come in to help. But I started pushing and then I looked up at the clock and it had already been an hour!!!! I remember thinking, WHAT??? Then it's all very blurry. There were lots of people in the room. Getting things ready for the baby, two doctors were in front of me. I pushed, I rested, I burned, I hurt, I felt EVERYTHING. So, I can't even imagine what it would have been like if I hadn't had just a tiny bit of that epidural left! I started to feel my legs and I felt her head. They asked if I wanted to feel so I did. That gave me strength to push harder. I don't remember much after feeling her head. I remember it burning! And then relief. And then my beautiful baby on my chest. And then she was gone. I had a first degree tear, which meant no stitches. At 04:08 Hadley Blaire L was born. 
     They told me they were taking her for 4 hours to start her on antibiotics because I had a fever which most likely meant I had an infection from when they broke my waters so many hours before. Afterwards I don't remember everything else. I remember being thirsty and tired. And I couldn't wait to see my baby girl again. So I slept to pass the time. And then Kate, (yay for her again) came into the room to help me go to baby girl to breast feed her and bring her bak to our room. And that's how it all happened. I am SURE I left out details, but my mind is so foggy. Plus my little girl is crying, so I better get. Here are some pictures from the rest of the time! 




















She peed and pooped all over me <3

No, seriously, all over me. It was awesome! 

My father in law said it would have been bad if she
 had picked this moment to do the poop and pee. 



Her first "bath". 



Looking all clean and stuff. <3




Thursday, December 10, 2015

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Induction:Before

So tonight is the night I will be induced. This is a before picture. :P I am so excited and worried, and anxious. This is really finally happening! I can't wait to update and tell how it goes. Along with adorable little pictures of baby girl!! So wish me luck and pray!! 

Monday, December 7, 2015

Hadley's Blanket From Mama

I made Hadley Blaire a Christmas blanket! I'm so proud of myself. I'm 9 months pregnant. Can barely walk. And did the lettering without an embroidery machine. Very difficult, but idc. She will know mama made it especially for her!! And btw, silky fabric and minky are HARD to sew together! But I'm loving the end results. Pictures underneath the Christmas tree? I think yes!! But anyway, now to relaxing and watching Once Upon A Time with the hubs. 

Friday, December 4, 2015

What is wrong...?

Someone I know made the comment, "These people irritate me, popping out children and over-populating the earth." Which of course bothered me since I am VERY pregnant. And the fact that my husband and I PLANNED the pregnancy. I see nothing wrong with, what my mother in law said, "A couple having two children to replace themselves." Plus, if you want a big family, to love and hold and cherish then what's the problem? I obviously mean this in a way of big families that stick together and aren't all from different daddies. Sorry if that's harsh. What I DONT understand is when you look up things like, "what is wrong with wanting kids," or "encouragement for soon to be mothers," you get pages full of "There's nothing wrong with NOT wanting kids." And "I don't want kids." And these women are just SO against having children. Which is fine!! But that's not what I looked up. I wanted to see why it IS ohkay to have children. There is no positive feedback for wanting children. My own mother posted this on Pinterest just today: 

I wanted to find SOMETHING, SOMEWHERE that was encouraging. That made me feel empowered to be a mother. Because I know I'm made to be a mommy. Hadley's mommy. And I realized. I was looking in all the wrong places. I needed to pray. Because God knows what's best for me. And for my family. T and I are so excited to have a little baby girl. The world is a big and scary place, and it has a lot of not nice and nasty, scary people in it. But I cannot wait to show Hadley the beauties of this world. To show her that it's ohkay to be sweet in a world where sweet isn't most people's go to. I hope she grows up knowing that her mom and dad love her very much. And when she feels truly alone, that God loves her too. I pray that I can show her the world in a different light than what I was shown. And I hope that, through God, I can do just that. So to the woman who doesn't want kids. Good for you! But I'm ohkay with the fact that I want children. I'm ohkay with wanting to be a mom. I don't think I'm over-populating the world. I'm just replacing myself. Or T. Or the woman who never wanted kids. 
I love you Hadleybear!! Forever and Always!! 

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Just a little December

I love December. I love the cold. I love the Christmas spirit and the colors and the lights and the comfy-ness of December. I like the blankets and the warm fuzzy socks. Hot chocolate. And from this year on, il be able to add my little bundle of joy to the mix. I'm a day over my due date, and honestly, I'm ohkay with it! I mean of course I want to hold her and snuggle her under my blankets, but it's not too far away. I want so badly to have the labor experience all my own, but I am also waiting patiently for December 9th to be induced as well. So cheers to December. And cheers to my baby girl coming within a week!((: 



Tuesday, December 1, 2015

40 weeks

Well, today is Hadley Blaire's due date. And today, she is still snug as a bug inside mamas tummy. Although I am feeling like my body is progressing, it is slow. At a snails pace. I am relaxing, or at least I am trying to. And waiting. Because she will come when she is ready!(: But just in case she thinks she is going to live in that soft comfy and safe place, we will get her out on the 9th of December. My induction date! So fingers crossed I get to experience labor on my own, but if not that's ohkay!! I love you Hadley-bear! And I can't wait to meet you!! Mama and papa bear love you so so much!!